I just jumped up and down screaming in rage for 2 minutes

Ok so after I wrote that last post like 2 seconds ago I got about 5 angry mesages telling me to write more happy things (you people need to go out and do something, its 2am in the states). So I wrote this happier thing and then the damn internet kicked me off AFTER I WROTE LIKE 2 PAGES. So I jumped up and down damning the Iranian government and now I'm going to start again. Ok so this is what's up right now:

Right now my face is so oily I think you could cook an egg on it. Right now its 9:30 here. Of course Fakhri is serving me breakfast which I leeeeerve lerve lerve...and maryam hates. This is the perfect country for Paul Quick because its so warm here you literally have no appetite ever- aka perfect for manos.

Little persian girls dress better than Maryam and I do. Every persian girl (not kidding you, starting at the age of about 3) wears rings, bracelets, earrings, necklaces and ALWAYS has their nails painted. It doesn't matter what age you are here, if you are female and you are persian you LOVE having painted nails.

You will never meet more intelligent, more learned taxi drivers in any other country. What happens here is the government says what job you get. If they don't like you, you don't get the job. Our taxi driver last night beat up 5 Basiji (hard core police) during the protests last year, got his face broken by a 6th basiji and was tortured for 2 days after. How did they torture him? The made him STAND for 2 days! Can you imagine standing for 2 days????? Anyway so he was a poli sci major and was going tro get a governmental job but because he beat the crap out of the secret police the government told him to go to hell. So now all he can do is drive a taxi...and he has to use his own car. This is not uncommon. Someone else here was in med school in his last year when he protested. Becuase of this they kicked him out of med school and now he can't get a job anywhere. And they can't leave. There are only 11 countries in the whole world an Iranian can go to without needing (and inevitably being denied) a visa....and they are all in East Asia, or New Zealand. An American can go to over 110 countries without a visa- and the others will give a visa no problem (unless its North Korea or of course Iran... but why would you want to go there anyway? ;) )

My dad's uncle came to see us last week. He is cool but he brought his nightmare of a daughter with him, I thought I was going to kill myself. She literally doesn't stop talking. I'm not kidding- I timed her, she talked for 20 minutes straight and all I said was "yeah" "ok" "oh really?" the whole time she talked. And she is only in 5th grade but she looks so old that when we first met her maryam thought she was his wife BAHAHAHAHAHHA. Anyway he invited us to his house on wednesday and I am DREADING it. Maryam and I are just planning on speaking in english the whole time so she can't understand slash can't participate. I know, how mean girls of us.

Ok 2 nights ago we went to a party at Mehran's. I tihnk I've said this before but our family here is so rich its like crazy. Good thing I brought all my gold jewelry with me slash my best dresses. But there was this guy there that was literally CREEPING on me and Maryam. In farsi you say he kept "netting us" or in english we say, trying to "tap it" hahhaa. So basically we made Kamran follow us everywhere and be our bodyguard so he wouldn't talk to us. He kept talking about how he is a tour guide with this eco friendly company and how he started when he was 19 and how he was the youngest in the world to do that. I wanted to be like, dude, come to America and see 15 year olds be summer tour guides for zoos...you're not that special.
Every Persian is a doctor. Or at least they think they are. You’re stomach hurts? Don’t eat anything green. Your head hurts? Drink shameless amounts of tea. Sometimes I just make stuff up about where it hurts to see what the diagnosis will be.

Iranians are the worst and best drivers ever. Here there are no rules. It’s red but you think you can be like frogger and cross without dying? You go for it. You think you can pile 10 people in your car and not get into an accident? Go for it. You think you can drive in between two other cars and not die? Go for it. But then why is it I’ve seen no accidents yet? Because they are attentive as hell. In America you wouldn’t think for one second that some idiot would drive up in between you and another car and try to make their own lane on the high way would you? So if they did do that you would most likely freak out and swerve and get into an accident. (By the way if an idiot did do that, that idiot is most likely Persian). But in Iran that WOULD happen, anything could happen, so they just don’t freak out and everything’s kosh.
Things with English names. This is the Persians worst nightmare. Some things don’t have translation in farsi. For instance, we are going to the Museum of Contemporary Arts today. But there is no translation for “contemporary” in farsi, which is why its in English. But the problem is that no one speaks English, so if you want to know where this museum is, you literally can’t ask anyone bc they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. So you just need to bum around until you find it, which will be what we do today apparently.
Also I’m really getting the hang of Persian humor. At parties I have mastered the art of Iranian jokes- it doesn’t really matter what you’re saying, just yell it loud and make it quick. I’m having trouble now though bc I try to be smart and use well to-do words and then I use them wrong so no one laughs. Then yesterday Maryam was like, “Meena, even when you suck at the language you never shut up.” Hahahahah. It’s true, I can’t take offense.
Also, Maryam still looks homeless everyone. She has bought no new clothes- I’m sorry I failed. But now I need to go chain drink espresso shots so that I can boost my alertness and get ready for the Museum!